apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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