Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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