He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
