"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
