she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
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i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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