playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we're making bets on your personal life
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
