I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
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My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
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Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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