i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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