It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
