Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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