he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
