I wanna passion pit in your ass
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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