Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
