his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
