Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize