I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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