Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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