ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
