I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
