I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
