whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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