if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
