so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
