The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
