The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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