You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
