dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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