we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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