I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize