at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
