I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
