Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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