3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
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I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
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Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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