So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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