We won't sleep together?
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
