i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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