normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
