My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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