are you still at the devil's house?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
