Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
