thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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