She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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