So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
