help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
