WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
