Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
