Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize