I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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