At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize