so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
