I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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