College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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