So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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