I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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