Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dicks are not precious.
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