is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
