You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
